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**** everything.
Topic Started: Jan 11 2014, 12:19 AM (499 Views)
giraff-e-vey
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Golbez
i dont even know how to start this.. but honestly, you guy are the closest thing i have to friends, or to anyone i know that might be able to help.

i have a tendency to have one major thing happen and then as soon as it does my world falls apart. in fact im bawling as im typing this.

im finding myself having to look for another place to live again. ive not live at the same address or with the same people for more than a few months at a time for the past several years. i cant seem to be able to depend on anyone or anything. i have lost several really close friends due to stupid stuff or what have you, and ive lost most of my ability to trust people.

ive had a lot of issues with a lot of things in the past few years. acting out, defiance, trying anything to make sense of anything.

and honestly i havent.

anytime i start a job somewhere it alwasy goes great for a while then i start to not fit in and things promised to me start to not happen.

shit has hit the fan even more with my ankle. since i broke it, idk how many times ive been in the hospital with allergic reactions and infections and surgeries and anything and everything.

along wiht the flu, missing work which i cant afford.

honestly.. i hate my life. i hate it.
most of the time i wish i was brave enough to just end it all. im trying so hard to not hurt myself right now.

i dont even know why im typing this.
i am the shittiest most worthless excuse for a human and im over it.
****.
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Dr. Peace
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Master of the Elements
You could try and discuss with Evan about staying at his place for a while, I'm sure he could try and let you stay and heal for as long as you needed! Greg will be back before too long, maybe you two could live together once he's back? I know my family has a room spare back in Evansville now that I've moved out, I could contact them to try and arrange something if nothing else works out. Job opportunities there aren't the best right now but there are places to work for sure! I don't know what all we can do but we can try and support you as best we can!
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[10:34:20 PM] Rawb | Marraphy: i get a boner everytime i kill someone

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[5:51:56 PM] BA: geeettttttt
dunked on!!!

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[1:43:03 AM] Draayder: it's better to not die than to die

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[6:25:01 PM] BA: Everyone can die for all I care

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[5:16:24 PM] Mantonio: The sort of voice you see breathy women sang rock songs with a ukelele
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Draayder
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King DeDeDe
I'm sorry that this is and has been happening to you. If you need to talk about anything my skype is always open and I'm more than willing to listen.

I'm extremely glad that you're surviving right now and if you need any resources like depression hotlines (I know some that are more like chatrooms if that helps) or tips for avoiding self harm I'll send them to you.

Please keep taking care of yourself and remember that the people here at RM are rooting for you and care about you.
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Odysseus
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PRRRROMOTION

I can't imagine what that must feel like Ashley, but I can say you're braver than most people for hanging on. You have your buds here at RM if you ever need anything physical, social, or what have you. We're just a click away, and some are just a drive away!
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Zelda588
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Hero of Time
Hang in there Ashley. The job thing... I definitely know how you feel about that. It'll get better, it has to. I'm always a message away if you want to talk.
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Credit to TLS
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Valsion
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Hero of Time
A friend of mine sometimes has similar issues. We usually meet up and share hugs if that happens, but since you're so far away...

Have an internet hug *hugs*.

Also, stay strong, don't give up. The darker days will eventually pass.
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giraff-e-vey
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Golbez
thank you everyone for your comments and everything. im sorry that i threw so much really personal stuff at you like that. i have been struggling a lot. so, prayers or thoughts or whatever you believe in, please. :/
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Arc
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Hero of Time
Ashley, you know you're one of my best friends, and you can call me any time of day or night and I'll do everything I can to be there for you. Don't do a lame text in the middle of the night, call me, a text won't wake me up.

This goes for basically all of my friends, but ii really want you to remember that, I'm. Here if you need me, so don't try to suffer alone, that really sucks.
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